November Newsletter!

Hey all!

A little delayed but the November newsletter is here!

As you can imagine, the theme this month is about family, and giving thanks.  Please let me know what you think, and feel free to share any of your family favorite recipes or hometown destinations!

Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

b3 nov newsletter

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Why every female should go out solo, on a regular basis

There are a lot of posts out there about traveling solo, I’ve even got one of my own from my recent solo trip this summer. The whole point of going alone is spending time with yourself, taking yourself out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to deal with things you run into independently.

But what happens when you come home? I can say that since being back from my trip, I have gone out to eat by myself and gone out for a drink at a nearby bar. It’s gratifying to not have the fear of doing so anymore. Plus, I’m free from depending on other people to try new places.

Benefits of solo:

You go exactly where YOU want to go–>no questions asked.

You eat and drink as much as you want–>no judgments.

Don’t need to cook for yourself–>yay!

People watching galore—>who doesn’t like to do this?

Make new friends—>never know who else you’ll see that’s also alone….much easier to strike up conversation.

Make friends with the bar tender–>self-explanatory

No need for idiotic small talk–> e.g., first date

On a more serious note…

Be alone with your own thoughts—sometimes those are enough to keep you occupied. I’ve found myself having many conversations to myself and in doing so I’ll come to a decision that’s been plaguing me, or I’ll calm down about something that was bothering me.

Learn how to be comfortable with yourself—this is probably the biggest advantage. Often my hesitation with going out alone was that I felt that I would be scrutinized by others; that people would judge or point me out, or that I would stick out like a sore thumb. What I learned on my solo trip was that NO ONE notices. If you take a look around you’ll see that not only are people so pre-occupied with themselves, about 90% of them are on their phones anyway. Kind of comical to watch actually.

So cast that fear aside. Keep your head up and relax into your own skin. You’re just another gal out for a meal and a drink, who’s badass enough to be confident and comfortable with who she is and does not care what other people think.

6 tips to minimize distractions and increase productivity in the workplace.

A common problem, one that is completely manageable.  Check out the ways in which I deal with this on a daily basis.

1. Don’t constantly check your email

Instead, set a specific time or part of day to do so. For instance, I only look through work emails in the morning, and then don’t check again till right before leaving work. With two set times, the rest of the hours in between can be dedicate to actual work activities. (Trust me you aren’t missing out on anything—anything truly emergent, you’ll be getting a phone call for)

2. Stay off of social media

No brainer. If you must check, do so when you’re doing anything not work related. For me this means during lunch.

3. Take breaks

It’s not possible to keep working straight throughout the day. You’ll start to fade and lose focus.  Instead, take regular breaks. Get up and walk around. Stretch your legs, grab a coffee. I’ll sometimes step outside of my clinic and get some sun. Moving around actually makes me more relaxed and clears my head much more effectively. Try it, you’ll realize how tired you are of staring at a computer screen, and how refreshed you feel when you sit back down.

4. Don’t be afraid to close the door

This is especially important when you need to hammer something out, or take a work related call. I usually have an open door policy, but the staff knows that when the door is closed, to wait…makes doing those tasks go much more smoothly and quickly

5. Write it down

I have a great memory, except when it comes to the laundry list of things I have to do on a daily basis. The tasks I have to complete are constantly changing and there’s no way I would remember any of it unless I wrote it down.

I bought myself a planner and I look through it daily, often starting first thing in the morning and then periodically throughout the day. I’ll add and subtract tasks that I need to do and cross off what I’ve done. This will not only give you a sense of accomplishment, but also serve to remind you of things you need to get done and most importantly prevent from forgetting anything!

6. Stay away from personal texting/phone calls.

I’ve been guilty of chatting with friends while at work. The texting goes on for hours and can serve as a huge distraction. Unless the conversation pertains to the job you’re doing, avoid responding. Just wait until you are free to actually talk.


What are some of the ways you stay focused?

Dating Chronicles: Do. Not. Compare.

(shoutout to my friend N.L.R for inspiring this post)

As my blog clearly states, I am single. Apparently more and more people are getting married later and later in life. Now is the time where the majority of people my age are still single, and probably looking for ‘the one’.

My dating life ebbs and flows. I go through periods where I feel like I need to put myself out there and DATE, because without any effort I’m not going to meet someone right? Other times, I’m like NOPE, not trying, if I meet him I’ll meet him, if I don’t, then well, I’ll just continue living and enjoying my life.

It’s quite a dilemma. Dating is exhausting, yet if you aren’t meeting people somehow and putting yourself out there, then how do you find ‘the one’? Amidst this internal debate of what to do, it’s really hard not to notice the people having success and moving forward in this aspect of life. It’s even harder not to compare your life to theirs and wonder what is going on. 

Ignore social media

copy media

It doesn’t help that there’s social media and the hashtag #couplegoals running rampant (insert eye roll emoji). Anyone who looks at a couple’s pictures and deems their relationship successful needs to re-evaluate life. Sorry to be harsh, but its true. Social media does NOT paint the whole picture. Anything on social media is just what people WANT you to see. What about what you can’t see? Think about that for a minute. No person or relationship is perfect, so if you are seeing perfection, it’s likely falsified in some way.

Don’t get caught up in someone else’s story

The same goes for the relationships you see in person, with your friends and their boyfriends or husbands. Those examples may be more real, but again they are not perfect. We will never know anyone’s full story, so comparing your life with anyone else’s is only going to make you miserable.

 Another’s progress is not your failure 

For those that truly are actively looking now, I think it’s really easy to compare what you are doing to others, especially when you don’t have what you are trying to get. I am definitely guilty of this. I have assumed that because I’m not in a relationship that I am lacking in some way, or that I am falling behind in what I should be doing. As it says in “Girl Code”, someone else moving forward in one aspect of life does not mean that you are doing anything wrong; it does not mean that you are failing.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Remind yourself that what may look perfect to us may be riddled with conflict.  Others’ happiness may just be what they want us to see and not a real reflection of what’s happening behind closed doors (or off of social media).  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every relationship is secretly miserable.  I just want to remind everyone that we simply don’t have the whole story, and an accurate comparison of lives should include it all don’t you think?

(Check out the book yourself, by clicking the image below):

Re-evaluate your feelings

One way that helps me stop comparing is to remind myself of what I actually want. Am I looking for a relationship because it’s truly what I’m ready for? Or am I antsy because my friends are all taken? Or because my family is pressuring me? Or because society has hammered into my brain that because I’m in my 30’s “its time”.

Shut the door on all the noise and instead ask yourself what your own priorities are. What do you actually want right now? How do you want to be spending your free time? On first dates making small talk? Or pursuing that business plan sitting at the back of your file drawer? Do you want to pursue a relationship with someone? Or figure out your own feelings first?

Trust your own path

Trust me I get it. Same boat here. Some people go on ONE Internet date and end up marrying the guy (yes, I’ve seen this happen more than once). But at the end of the day, I remind myself, that TIMING is everything. Both parties have to be ready; have to be in a place in life where being in a relationship is a priority, (key word here is BOTH).

So, revert your gaze from all the social media posts and remind of yourself of who you are, what you want. If your current goal includes a relationship, then get out there, date, meet people, stay open, and be you. Don’t compare to anyone else. Just know that the people you are meeting is for a reason; the dates that don’t work out are teaching you something. Pay attention, learn what you can and keep moving forward. You’ll eventually get to where you need to be.

If you realize that a relationship is not a priority, then don’t fight yourself. Do whatever it is you actually want to do with your time.   All your experiences will form you into the person you are meant to be, and when you are ready, you’ll truly be ready.   No questions asked.

be patient

 

Be patient. Be focused on you. Be confident with your own path.